I don know what I'm doing right now?

  I didn't go for school today, staying home for the whole day and I'm missing him deadly. I've almost finished my revision but I couldn't remember all. My minds were all about him. 


  Yes, please don't get confused here, that I'm in a relationship with a guy that I just get to know him. He's a nice guy with black skin. We'r having similar backgrounds. He's a trustful person, you can have your trust on him, but I hard to trust people again.


  I scare, scare that the nightmare will happen on me again......You have no ideas how hurt is it when the person which you trusted him for about more than half of the year had cheated on you!  It's just happened so   damn fast that I couldn't even have a preparation! I've told to the half of the people in my life that I had a relationship and they were happy for me, what the next thing happened was I received a break- up message from that bastard the next day we met my best friend!  He lied to me that he wanted to be with his dream girl but he's with another girl at the 1st day of school which I saw by my own naked eyes! I know him about more than half year ! It's just happened to fast and my body shakes every time I think of these!  


  Now, when he's not replying my message that I've sent, I started worried.  He said he loves me, I hesitated,still I just accepted it. 


  It has been a long time that I have not posted  anything here. I've read all the previous posts, realized that I have changed, become lazier, no purposes. I started don't care about my studies not because of relationship that led me to this, but I don't know what brought me this?


  Weird.... what happened to me?


  




  

Shaking

  I can't sleep tonight. May be is the tea effect or I just can't sleep. God damn, hands shake again. My heart beats so fast when every time I see phy notes, I can feel my hands shaking at the same time. I love sciences, but I really don't know how to handle with phy. It makes me no interest in everything now, my confident drops to zero since I failed phy for my last 2 sems. I really need some help, but who can lend a hand for me? 


  It'll will be a math test and bio test in few more days, but I act like I don't care anymore. What happened to me? 

  I know I can't continue like this, it made me so damn sick for worrying about my results, can't stop thinking about it! 

  But 

  Who can help me? 
  
  Just some one, anyone, scold me or give advises... 

  P L E A S E
 
 

Nothing

为了女生长得越来越漂亮男生长得越来越帅气，你一定要看喔，还要分享给自己的朋友看

1）洗头时，在水中放少许盐，也可以预防脱发。

2）用醋洗头，可以令头发飘顺，容易打理而且兼有去头皮屑的功效。特别适合烫染后的头发。

3）刷牙时在牙膏上加上一点小苏达，刷三次后牙齿洁白如玉，牙锈自然脱落。

4）每天放几片茶叶在口中嚼三遍，这样可使你口中保持清香，三天后除去口臭。

5）用桃仁放在火上烧热以后放在痛牙上咬，如此几次永不牙痛。

6）睡觉时口含桔皮一块，含十五分钟后吐出3-5次可根治打呼咬牙。

7）每天早晚吃梨一个，慢慢咽下，保持3-4天，口腔炎症立即好转。

8）用白色的萝卜皮贴在两面的太阳穴上，每晚贴20分钟，可治偏头痛。

9）将大葱白切碎放在小盘内，临睡前把小盘摆在枕头边便可安然入睡，连续几天可治失眠症。

10）每口晚上用一个鸡蛋清擦脸，一小时后用清水洗掉，如能经常擦，皮肤越来越嫩。

11）橘子带着“白丝”吃。很多人吃橘子时都会把橘子上的“白丝”剥掉。其实，这里面含有丰富的黄酮类物质，对身体大有裨益。

12）上午8时至10时和下午4时至7时，是晒太阳养生的最佳时间

14）饮茶养生的最佳时间是用餐1小时后。

15）饭后3分钟是漱口、刷牙的最佳时间。

16）　每天晚上睡觉前来一个温水浴（35℃～45℃），能使全身的肌肉、关节松弛，血液循环加快，帮助你安然入睡。

17）饭后45分钟至60分钟，以每小时4。8公里的速度散步20分钟，热量消耗最大，最有利于减肥。如果在饭后两小时后再散步，效果会更好。

18）傍晚锻炼最为有益。

19）仰头点眼药水时微微张嘴，这样眼睛就不会乱眨了。

20）眼睛进了小灰尘，闭上眼睛用力咳嗽几下，灰尘就会自己出来。

21）刚刚被蚊子咬完时，涂上肥皂就不会痒了。

23）如果嗓子、牙龈发炎了，在晚上把西瓜切成小块，沾着盐吃，记得一定要是晚上，当时症状就会减轻，第二天就好了

24）吃了有异味的东西，如大蒜、臭豆腐，吃几颗花生米就好了

25）插花时，在水里滴上一滴洗洁精，可以维持好几天。

26）夏天足部容易出汗，每天用淡盐水泡脚可有效应对汗脚

27）防失眠：睡前少讲太多话，忌饮浓茶，睡前勿大用脑，可用热水加醋洗脚；

28）双手易变得干燥粗糙，用醋泡手十分钟可护肤；

29）每天早晨用豆腐摩擦面部几分钟，坚持一个月，面部会变得很滋润；

30）皮包上有污渍，可以用棉花蘸风油精擦拭。

You don't know me?

  No school for today, good for me, i could wake up as late as I want. My sister backed from her hostel, starting from tomorrow, her holidays starts! jealous about that.

  I brought to read comics together, got a long time that I didn't read comics. I choose ghost comics mostly. We went to night market, bought a lot of food. I saw my secondary school friend when heading to car, she turned her head to another side, pretended she didn't know me.

  What?!

  Never mind.

  I'm not angry about this, I'm just wanna laugh out loud about the childish way she acted.

  And I know and always know

  I got lot of friends,(luckily)

  including you, who's reading my post here.

Just close it

  I was deeply depressed today but I don't know why. I decided to shut myself again, I realized that there are too many unfairness in the world even though I knew since my mother left us but the feeling becomes stronger.

  Am I so disagreeable? When I was studying in primary school, female classmates hated me, gave me eyes, talked behind my back without reasons. I told my father once before, but he said that was my attitude led to these. If I was that bad attitude, how about them? Life was hard that time, I hid myself in library everyday, forced myself to read books so that I could ignore the feeling of left behind. Seeing everyone got their partners around, I pretended that I'm not alone at all. I did try to make things right, I went to sit to them and talked gently, but they still didn't wanted to accept me. I was happy that I finally found a place that could hide me for the 30 minutes long breaks. I seldom talk in my primary school life, some talked to me because they pitied on me.

  I remember that's a girl but I've forgotten her name who good to me, but she betrayed me. Like my mother betrayed the whole family! Since then, I hardly trust people, but I still made the same mistake after I entered secondary school life. I believe that there will always be a turning point. I'm wrong after all. Like a moral teacher always say, teenagers like to be in groups, so as I. I turned very badly in the first two years, my father said that I was no hope in everything, so he decided to change a better school for me. The school is for rich children to study, I know money is very important to my whole family, so I changed a lot, I didn't want to waste my father hard earned-money. New school, new life and new people. Again, I shut myself. I made new friends, but when they realized that I wasn't high class as them, they gave the eyes again. I met my best friend in this school, we got our own stories to tell, thanks to enter my life. That's a girl, she looked me from the bottom to the top and to bottom every time I pass by. I was glad that my results turned back good as before. I'm not rich, but at least I've done well in exams which could show off to them indirectly. Ya, scene repeated, I became a library visitor again. Because of them, money becomes the most important thing in my life.

  I become defensive after the failure marriage of my parents. I took care of my sister and try to protect her, but I don't think that I've made the best. I fought with a boy who 1 or 2 years older than in bus, because he bullied my sister. I tried to protect others but I don't know how to fight for myself. Some of my ex-boy friends hurt me badly before, but I pretended there was nothing happened. I fall down, I stand up quickly, I don't want let everyone see I'm bleeding, that's a shame to show how pity I am, because I know that's no one to help me out. I believe in love, but I don't think there's miracle for me, I've tried to find, but the results were making my heart into pieces. University life doesn't make my life better, but better than before, I know many friends, but they seem no interest in me. I talk much to get their notices to let them know my present. Well, the relationships with each other are for the purposes, taking benefits from each other. I know, career life is much darker than this.

   It's harder for you to find a friend who talks heart to heart as you getting older. Sometimes that's no returns when you treat good to everyone. So why don't just stop treating people good? Why don't just acting cold? Pretend you don't really care of everything, keep your own mouth shut and just do your stuffs?

( I don't know who to talk with and where to express, it's better that write in words and let's nobody knows.)

 

 

 

DIRTY MINDS !!

  Well, i apologize for not updating new blog recently, busy busy busy! Nothing special happened today, but I feel bored the whole day long.

Tomorrow is a holiday, some of my friends went back to their hometowns, some chose not to attend classes and some ended classes earlier than me. Let's wishing them a nice holiday! 

  After survived from school and traffic jam, I reached home finally. I parked my car opposite my neighbor's house, though there was empty space in front of my house gate. You might think that I was being so self-fish, but I'm not,  because she (my neighbor) started it! I don't know why she likes to upholster her house frequently? She knocked the wall in the night, disturbing everyone's sleep! Some more, she placed a big dustbin (which the workers throw the sand and unwanted materials) in front of our house just for her sake stupid stuffs, and more and more and more !!!!!  Self-fish woman! Doesn't she know that there are people living beside her? F M L

  Opened facebook, read a post about the differences between some women before and after make-up. Well, those women were beautiful with their after make-up looks, but were  normal( for me ) when they didn't make-up. I was angry about this, we can't and shouldn't judge people based on their looks! It's hurting those women if they know it. There's nothing wrong with women making themselves prettier! What will you feel when you dress up beautifully, like you are going to be the most beautiful bride and marry someone who loves you much and some bastards just post your normal pictures and share to the others without second thought, titled "for those men who getting married, please remember her face without any make up."

Does he mean that those women with normal appearances should stay at home for their whole lives? shouldn't get boyfriends and get married ? 

  

   Those are the pictures I taken down from the page. See, they were happy. I can't see anything wrong with their looks! 

  There's nothing we call 'prefect' in this world. Even the powerful gods will do mistakes as normal human like us. But I believe that you can turn it better and then best if you keep on hard working.

  So, stop judging people's looks!!!!!

Don't leave me alone

  Ah, Monday again, 8 hrs of non-stop lectures and practical totally made me insane, I almost forgot where did I parked my car and I thought it's stolen. I saw brother and her went out the lift together. It's hard to explain the feeling at the moment. Never mind, I don't have time to care. 

  I've hidden him and his friends in Facebook, I learn to not to interest anything they post. Actually, I don't even want to see their faces. I'm going to be sick, hate sore throat. Unfortunately, am going to present this Friday.

  Why there are so many couples beside me? Sometimes they make me feel like want to vomit, sometimes I very admire they've found each other. Oh god, it's still the same, I'm still all alone. Can I hire a boy friend? At least I wont be so lonely.

  Must try not to be used by people, must learn to get strong, must learn to be more independent, must being self-fish all the time.