I don know what I'm doing right now?

  I didn't go for school today, staying home for the whole day and I'm missing him deadly. I've almost finished my revision but I couldn't remember all. My minds were all about him. 


  Yes, please don't get confused here, that I'm in a relationship with a guy that I just get to know him. He's a nice guy with black skin. We'r having similar backgrounds. He's a trustful person, you can have your trust on him, but I hard to trust people again.


  I scare, scare that the nightmare will happen on me again......You have no ideas how hurt is it when the person which you trusted him for about more than half of the year had cheated on you!  It's just happened so   damn fast that I couldn't even have a preparation! I've told to the half of the people in my life that I had a relationship and they were happy for me, what the next thing happened was I received a break- up message from that bastard the next day we met my best friend!  He lied to me that he wanted to be with his dream girl but he's with another girl at the 1st day of school which I saw by my own naked eyes! I know him about more than half year ! It's just happened to fast and my body shakes every time I think of these!  


  Now, when he's not replying my message that I've sent, I started worried.  He said he loves me, I hesitated,still I just accepted it. 


  It has been a long time that I have not posted  anything here. I've read all the previous posts, realized that I have changed, become lazier, no purposes. I started don't care about my studies not because of relationship that led me to this, but I don't know what brought me this?


  Weird.... what happened to me?


  




  

Shaking

  I can't sleep tonight. May be is the tea effect or I just can't sleep. God damn, hands shake again. My heart beats so fast when every time I see phy notes, I can feel my hands shaking at the same time. I love sciences, but I really don't know how to handle with phy. It makes me no interest in everything now, my confident drops to zero since I failed phy for my last 2 sems. I really need some help, but who can lend a hand for me? 


  It'll will be a math test and bio test in few more days, but I act like I don't care anymore. What happened to me? 

  I know I can't continue like this, it made me so damn sick for worrying about my results, can't stop thinking about it! 

  But 

  Who can help me? 
  
  Just some one, anyone, scold me or give advises... 

  P L E A S E